My job has it's downfalls

Censors Warning: The following blog post may contain mental images that are too disturbing for some viewers. Proceed at your own discretion.

I don't like milk. I don't know what it is about milk, but I just can't drink it. Unless of course it satisfies one of the two requirements: i) It was removed from the fridge and opened less than 2 minutes ago. OR ii) It has chocolate syrup in it. Otherwise, it gives me a nasty gag reflex that I can't seem to fight. So imagine when I open the fridge and discover sour milk. I never would have drank it, but now I have the responsibility to dispose of it. Oh the smell! I've had to do this at work a few times (cleaning out the fridge), and I can handle it. It's awful and almost unbearable, but I can handle it. Another thing at work that is awful and almost unbearable, is cleaning up faeces and/or vomit. From within the pool is one thing, but when it is on deck the putrid smell is overwhelming. At least when it is in the pool - as complicated as it can be to clean up - it doesn't smell. I just don't understand how people confuse a swimming pool with a toilet. They don't bear even the slightest resemblance to each other. And then you get the patrons who find it funny to take their faeces and smear it all over lockers and floor mats. I know, now you will never be able to go to a public pool again. Haha. Blegh!! The reason I am sharing all this lovely information with you, is because yesterday at work I got stuck with a situation that almost tops all charts. The reason I got stuck with it is because I was the closing supervisor, and there were no male staff on that evening. Ready for it?? We discovered some melted/rotten/decaying ice cream in one of the lockers in the male changing room. A few young patrons informed us that it had been there for three weeks already. Three weeks!?!? I'm still confused as to why no one informed us sooner. Anyways, the smell was...I'm sure you can imagine. But it was dry and crusted on, so it could have been worse. Well the fact that it was dry and crusted on means I had to pour boiling water onto it in order to clean it up. Do you know what happens when you pour hot water onto dry, crusting, rotting ice cream? That putrid smell amplifies 100-fold. I don't think I have ever been so close to vomiting - in any of those faeces/vomit/sour milk incidents. Anyways, next time you go to a public pool - if you can ever bear it again - please think of us poor lifeguards that have to clean up after you. Finish your ice cream before you come, or throw it in the garbage. It's going to melt in your locker before you come back for it, so don't bother. Use the washroom before you enter the pool, the pool is not a suitable substitute. Take your young children to the washroom before you enter the pool, they do not know the difference between a toilet and the corner of the pool. Do not feed your children within 10 minutes of entering the pool. They may get too excited and want to share their dessert with the other kids. Thank you for your consideration.