Dying to Self

I am still reading a book called "Healing is a Choice" by Stephen Arterburn. It has been a slow read because it has 10 decisions that I have to make along the journey. These decisions each take time - the healing process. Each decision is accompanied by a "big lie" that Satan gives us. The first decision was to make meaningful connections. (The lie was that we only needed ourselves and God). This one was hard for me because I've built up barriers to the world in an effort to protect myself. Even once I'd decided I wanted meaningful connections, I didn't know where to go or who to turn to. So I started with my Mom. I told her everything, things she knew and things she didn't. That was hard, but freeing. Since then I have been praying for God to help me make meaningful connections.

Secondly, I needed to make the decision to feel the pain. Remarkably, I had done this before. This was not a new concept, but then I realized that I'm hurting less over J, and more over M. So again, this is an ongoing process. The lie here is that "Real Christians should have real peace in all circumstances." Every Sunday our Pastor makes an invitation to the alter for prayer at the end of his sermon. I had felt the urge to go up a few times, but never found the courage to step forward. A few Sundays ago I felt the pull very strongly and went up. What a freeing feeling to share your pain and know you are prayed for!

I am still in the chapter of this second decision, and I've come across another concept that isn't all that new. Dying to Self: being willing to be uncomfortable for the good of others and the purposes of God. For the purposes of God. Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" (NLT) God has an amazing plan for my life, and when I let him take the wheel I can start to see evidence of that all around me.

So I am making the choice to heal, because I can hardly wait for what God has in store!

Same old, same old

I've got writers block. Well sort of. I've got things on my mind but I don't know how to articulate them onto here, or even if I should. I haven't blogged in ages, and I feel bad because I check back almost daily to see if any of you guys have updated your blogs. The other problem is that there really isn't anything new in my life! I get asked that question anytime I catch up with an old friend, or work with someone I haven't seen in a while. Even then I have no solid answer. "Oh you know, same old same old." The funny part is how true that is. But I want to blog. I want to tell you something new and exciting, or even give you a window into our lives. So lets see if I can muster up some news.

My good friend Stephanie May got married to her brave warrior Chad Vandermeulen this past Saturday. Engagement announcement here. They are just the beginning of many friends my age getting married, and I will still be single. Which is okay, I want to wait for my perfect match as patiently as possible.

Only a month left before I go back to school. Doing my first in class practicum this semester and I am really quite nervous. Sad that summer is almost over, but yet excited to change up the daily routine again.

I officially joined PartyLite as a consultant, and am slowly trying to build my business. It's exciting and frustrating all at the same time.

Getting excited for Cortona in January! The remainder of preparations won't happen until October or later, but I think I have the money portion prepared. Mom and I have also been planning (and dreaming) about our three week trip together after my semester is done. Right now it looks like we're doing London, Italy, Czech (Prague), Austria (Vienna), maybe Greece, maybe Turkey, maybe Germany. We're stuck between seeing as much as possible, and allowing time to spend extra days in our favourites.

There are other things going on in my life, but I'm not ready to blog about them at this point. If the timing becomes appropriate, you will know. If not, consider it unimportant. Funny though, I came up with more to talk about than I expected. Interesting how that sometimes happens isn't it?