Epiphanies and the Subconscious

I was having a bit of an off-day today. It was just one of those days where I felt overtired, and in sort of the mood to sit in a corner all by myself and just sulk. I hate those days. I just feel so powerless to do anything about it. But I had an epiphany at work, amidst my sulking. Here it is: some people I met at one of the churches we tried, got engaged recently. They hadn't been dating long, but they are wonderful people. I also have no doubt from an outsiders perspective that they are perfect for each other. But something happens in my subconscious when I hear this sort of news...it just sets the day off on the wrong foot. It leaves me lonely and exhausted. I don't know what it is about hearing that other people have found their soulmate, but it makes me sad rather than happy. Happy for them, of course...but sad. In this moment, all I can really think of is that Michael Buble song on the radio right now: "Haven't met you yet". And so it is...I just haven't met him yet. But I have faith that he is out there, that I'm not allowed to meet him until both of us are ready, and that when we do meet...it will be amazing.

Oh where...is my hairbrush?

Hi, my name is Suzette. I am a hairbrush. I like to come out and explore the world outside the drawer. But I've discovered the world is a scary place, with your tools to burn hair into submission so that it hangs straight. *shudder* Or those powders and brushes that make a girls face look like a painted doll. But worst of all is what you do with that porcelain bowl. I don't want to know, see, or smell that. Nasty, disgusting stuff that is. So please, I beg of you, after you've taken me out to play, return me to my warm, safe drawer. Thank-you.

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Disclaimers note:

This is what happens after many failed attempts to remind the other users of my bathroom to put the hairbrush back in the drawer after they use it, rather than leaving it on the counter.

Update

You know how sometimes you really just don't know what to write about, and other times the words just flow like water? Can you guess where I'm at right now? I left you last time with a foul taste in your mouth as an idea for what my job can sometimes entail. I do feel the need to comment on how that is NOT my experience at work every day. Only once in a while - but it sure does leave an impact! Other days at work, such as ones where I spend a few hours in the water teaching swimming lessons, are great. Swimming lessons is: a half an hour with a bunch of kids that aren't yours, that will play with you, laugh with you, have a grand ol' time; and then you give them back. You sure get some cute little 5 year olds. Teaching is a rewarding experience, it really is. Over the years you get to see kids progress from learning to float, to learning the front crawl. With that said, teaching can be exhausting. You also deal with parents expecting you to work a miracle, and having a temper tantrum when you let them down. I guess this is a preview for when I finish university and go back to high school as a full time career. Can't wait!...?...!!

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On a completely different note, I got my final acceptance to Cortona! I handed in the necessary forms, paid my deposit, and am now registered in my courses! Here's what I am taking:

Topics in Roman Civilization: The Roman City

The Roman city was the symbol of the Roman Empire, of the diverse cultures and lands that the Romans conquered. Wherever the Romans conquered, they established cities. Modern cities are the legacy of the Roman city. The Roman city was a stamp of solidarity, unifying cultures and where Roman rule, law and institutions were honoured. The course concentrates on understanding how the Roman city developed. The evolution of the Roman city includes not just the physical layout and the architecture of the city, but also the institutions that public buildings housed and the private residences. Rome, Ostia and Pompeii are the focus of the study.

Topics in Roman Art: The Power of Beauty

A study of the way in which Greek art influenced the Roman world, particularly at the highest social levels. We will concentrate on architecture, painting and sculpture, and three central themes that we will explore are: a) Greek Italy: Greek art produced in Southern Italy and Sicily and its influence on the Etruscans and indigenous populations; b) Greece conquers Rome: a study of Greek art in Rome, copies vs originals, and the use of 'classicism'; c) Nostalgia for Greece: ancient works in new contexts, ancient and modern.

Conversational Italian

An introduction to Italian designed for non-native speakers who do not require the intensive study of grammar to complete degree requirements. This course will give you the basic skills to communicate effectively in your daily interactions and travel across Italy.

I am so unbelievably excited. Now to arrange the proper paperwork, travel arrangements, etc. Eeeek! So excited!

My job has it's downfalls

Censors Warning: The following blog post may contain mental images that are too disturbing for some viewers. Proceed at your own discretion.

I don't like milk. I don't know what it is about milk, but I just can't drink it. Unless of course it satisfies one of the two requirements: i) It was removed from the fridge and opened less than 2 minutes ago. OR ii) It has chocolate syrup in it. Otherwise, it gives me a nasty gag reflex that I can't seem to fight. So imagine when I open the fridge and discover sour milk. I never would have drank it, but now I have the responsibility to dispose of it. Oh the smell! I've had to do this at work a few times (cleaning out the fridge), and I can handle it. It's awful and almost unbearable, but I can handle it. Another thing at work that is awful and almost unbearable, is cleaning up faeces and/or vomit. From within the pool is one thing, but when it is on deck the putrid smell is overwhelming. At least when it is in the pool - as complicated as it can be to clean up - it doesn't smell. I just don't understand how people confuse a swimming pool with a toilet. They don't bear even the slightest resemblance to each other. And then you get the patrons who find it funny to take their faeces and smear it all over lockers and floor mats. I know, now you will never be able to go to a public pool again. Haha. Blegh!! The reason I am sharing all this lovely information with you, is because yesterday at work I got stuck with a situation that almost tops all charts. The reason I got stuck with it is because I was the closing supervisor, and there were no male staff on that evening. Ready for it?? We discovered some melted/rotten/decaying ice cream in one of the lockers in the male changing room. A few young patrons informed us that it had been there for three weeks already. Three weeks!?!? I'm still confused as to why no one informed us sooner. Anyways, the smell was...I'm sure you can imagine. But it was dry and crusted on, so it could have been worse. Well the fact that it was dry and crusted on means I had to pour boiling water onto it in order to clean it up. Do you know what happens when you pour hot water onto dry, crusting, rotting ice cream? That putrid smell amplifies 100-fold. I don't think I have ever been so close to vomiting - in any of those faeces/vomit/sour milk incidents. Anyways, next time you go to a public pool - if you can ever bear it again - please think of us poor lifeguards that have to clean up after you. Finish your ice cream before you come, or throw it in the garbage. It's going to melt in your locker before you come back for it, so don't bother. Use the washroom before you enter the pool, the pool is not a suitable substitute. Take your young children to the washroom before you enter the pool, they do not know the difference between a toilet and the corner of the pool. Do not feed your children within 10 minutes of entering the pool. They may get too excited and want to share their dessert with the other kids. Thank you for your consideration.

Happy 50th!

Well here we are, at 50 posts. When I first started blogging, I never thought I would make it this far. 50 is a lot. So lets see if I can accomplish what I set out to do a few posts ago. Kyra's happy list - 2010. In no particular order...

1. Snowboarding
2. Snowball fights
3. Spring rain
4. Sea urchins
5. Starfish
6. Wonderful family
7. Good friends
8. New friends
9. A warm bed to sleep in
10. Being done 3 years of university
11. Travelling Europe - past and present
12. Stuffed animals
13. Shopping
14. New clothes
15. Candles
16. Thunderstorms
17. Lightening
18. Hammocks
19. Camping
20. Sand castles
21. Campfires
22. S'mores
23. Buttery popcorn
24. Bubble baths
25. Squishing mud between your toes
26. Cameras
27. Black & White pictures
28. Newborn babies
29. Daisies
30. Wildflowers
31. Dancing
32. Pillow fights
33. Water fights
34. Iced tea
35. Ice cream
36. The ocean
37. Disneyland
38. Kittens & Puppies
39. Leia (my dog)
40. Sleeping in & Snooze buttons
41. Monkeys
42. New movies
43. New books
44. Pirates (of the caribbean)
45. Playing pool
46. Swimming
47. Work "Family"
48. Calvin & Hobbes comics
49. Haircuts
50. My Lord & Saviour - Jesus Christ

Well, there you have it. The 2010 version of Kyra's happy list!! I'm sure I could add to it, and these aren't necessarily the 50 things that make me most happy, but they sure do make me happy!

Friends

What is a friend? I looked up the definition at dictionary.com, and the typical response is: someone who you care about and cares about you, someone you have a lot in common with, someone you can trust, etc. But what about a best friend? This is someone who you care about and cares about you unconditionally, someone you can trust with all your hopes, dreams and secrets. I think sometimes we confuse best friend with favourite friend. Even someone who really is your best friend, may not always be your best friend. When your lives start to take different directions, will you always be best friends? Or will you now be just friends, and move on to new best friends with more similar lifestyles?

I had a best friend when I was young, then I had a new best friend when I moved to AB, then when I graduated I again, had a new best friend. I had a best friend when I got engaged, and a best friend when I got dumped. I had a best friend whom I travelled Europe with. Most of these best friends are different people. I am again faced with the dilemma of my best friends moving on to new and better things, and me getting left behind. I have one best friend who is getting married. I have two best friends who are graduating from University and/or moving out in the near future. I no longer know who is my best friend by definition. All of these best friends I still would call my closest friends, but I don't know who the friend is that I am supposed to trust with all my hopes, secrets and dreams. I don't know who the friend is that is going to be there no matter what. I don't know which friend I'm supposed to go to when I need a shoulder to cry on.

Maybe what God is trying to tell me is that there is no human being who is your best friend by definition. At least not permanently. From time to time there will be that special friend who fits the definition, but lifestyles change and people move on. But the only one who will be there through the good times and the bad, the only one who will be there even when you reject Him, the only one who will wait patiently for you to get your head on straight, is God.

School Achievement

People often comment on course load and subsequent grades. The normal course load is 5 classes per semester; the overachiever will do 6, maybe 7; and then someone who needs the extra time will do 3, maybe 4. There's also the philosophy that, by only doing 4 courses instead of 5, you can devote all that extra time to the 4 courses you have. I mean, why do average on 5 courses, if you can do excellent on 4 right? I will admit, you do have a lot more time to study when you only have 4 courses. But do you actually use that time for studying? Or do you spend the same amount of time on each subject as you would have before, and then use that extra time to do whatever you want?

I finally got all my grades back for this semester. This semester I did the full 5 courses, while in some past semesters I've done only 4. I was browsing my grades from previous semesters and here's what I noticed. In one semester while doing only 4, I received my first A. But! The other 3 were only B's and B-'s. In one semester while doing the full 5, I received two A-'s, but the rest were B's and B+'s. This semester, despite panicking from the stress load, and freaking out thinking I wasn't going to get high enough marks, I studied my butt off! And apparently my hard work paid off: 1 A-, 3B+, and 1B. Anyways, the trend I have noticed is that it is better to do the full 5, and actually use all that time for studying. I seem to do better when I have the full 5 courses. However, with the full 5, I may have my best semester, but I also have my worst. But hey, your very first semester at University never goes as good as you'd hoped...right?

Just when you thought

I thought I was strong

but really I'm weak

I thought I was brave

but found I'm a coward

I thought I had healed

but it never goes away

I thought I needed time

but time is never enough

I thought and I thought

and I thought

but I was wrong