Sunday, September 27, 2009

Random Thoughts of the Day

Disclaimer; I do not take credits for any of these - I got them off an email. :D

Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just pulling a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you first have to do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem? Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or faq's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are soft.

I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a test is absolutely petrifying.

Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?

While driving yesterday, I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart.

Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

Eating dessert, skipping class, and having sex all have on thing in common. Once the idea crosses your mind it's almost impossible not to do it.

Bad decisions make good stories.

Is it just me, or do high school girls get sluttier and sluttier every year?

Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like, I know my name, I know where I am from, this shouldn't be a problem...

You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day.

Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVD's? I don't want to have to restart my collection.

There is no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China and USA. No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.

Even under ideal conditions, people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and pinning the tail on the Donkey. But I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

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