Dying to Self

I am still reading a book called "Healing is a Choice" by Stephen Arterburn. It has been a slow read because it has 10 decisions that I have to make along the journey. These decisions each take time - the healing process. Each decision is accompanied by a "big lie" that Satan gives us. The first decision was to make meaningful connections. (The lie was that we only needed ourselves and God). This one was hard for me because I've built up barriers to the world in an effort to protect myself. Even once I'd decided I wanted meaningful connections, I didn't know where to go or who to turn to. So I started with my Mom. I told her everything, things she knew and things she didn't. That was hard, but freeing. Since then I have been praying for God to help me make meaningful connections.

Secondly, I needed to make the decision to feel the pain. Remarkably, I had done this before. This was not a new concept, but then I realized that I'm hurting less over J, and more over M. So again, this is an ongoing process. The lie here is that "Real Christians should have real peace in all circumstances." Every Sunday our Pastor makes an invitation to the alter for prayer at the end of his sermon. I had felt the urge to go up a few times, but never found the courage to step forward. A few Sundays ago I felt the pull very strongly and went up. What a freeing feeling to share your pain and know you are prayed for!

I am still in the chapter of this second decision, and I've come across another concept that isn't all that new. Dying to Self: being willing to be uncomfortable for the good of others and the purposes of God. For the purposes of God. Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' says the Lord. 'They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.'" (NLT) God has an amazing plan for my life, and when I let him take the wheel I can start to see evidence of that all around me.

So I am making the choice to heal, because I can hardly wait for what God has in store!