Maybe, after all.

I think maybe there IS purpose to my pain after all. I remember right after Jordan called off our engagement, suddenly there were all these people around me who had gone through the same thing I did, telling me I'd make it through. I had no idea that these people had been engaged before finding the love of their life. Who knew? Here I thought I was the only one. Regardless, it was still hard. I was angry at God for letting me suffer. Why should I have to endure such pain? To me, it wasn't fair. I was also told regularly, that maybe someday I could use my experiences to help someone else.

Well I think that time has come sooner than expected. I mean, I'm still healing! How could I possibly help someone else already? A girl I work with was recently dumped by her long time boyfriend, because he said he "didn't love her anymore." She's crushed, and is clearly still very much in love with him. The two of us had a long heartfelt chat about the healing process. She sees me, knows my story, and sees hope. She sees that she can and will make it through. I left work both sad and hurting for her, and happy that my suffering was not futile. I think this is the first of many times I will re-live my experience for someone else's benefit - and I'm glad.

There IS hope, and there IS purpose to my pain. I will be okay, and I will be able to help others move forward because of it. Thank you Lord.

Giving Thanks

I am going to jump on the bandwagon and list a bunch of things I'm thankful for (because I have ALOT to be thankful for!). As many as I am old...well as many as I will be old on Friday.

1. Jesus loves me - always and forever - no matter the stupid things I do.

2. My family - Mom, Dad, Colin, Branden and Bryce - they have stood by my side and loved me through the thick and thin of this last year.

3. My friends - for new friends, for old friends, for friendships that have grown. Colette - my best friend. She's the one who should have been my sister. Michael - he completes our triangle. Stephanie - my God-fearing sweetheart.

4. Opportunities. Having the opportunity to go to Europe and travel for a month. It was the experience of a lifetime. Being able to attend (and excel) at a prestigious university such as the University of Alberta.

5. My job and my coworkers. I think of all the people that hand out a couple dozen resumes in a day and still don't have a job and I am grateful to have a good paying job and people I love to work with.

6. I live in Canada - in contrast to those who live in a country where they are prosecuted for their faith, or in contrast to those who live in a country so poor that they have to fight to survive.

7. Being able to afford luxuries such as my Mac computer, my cell phone, my own car, an ipod, etc.

8. Having a vehicle to drive. I know this sounds like a repeat from #7, but I'm being particularly grateful that I don't have to walk to school - which would be very cold and long.

9. My cats and dog. Molly, Harley, Charlie, Jazz, Ebony and Leia.

10. Being able to live in the country where I can have this abundance of animals.

11. Living close enough to the University that I can live at home affordably.

12. My snowboard, and the luxury of living close enough to the mountains that day trips are feasible.

13. Having a fridge stocked full of food to eat whenever I feel necessary. Especially now at Thanksgiving where I can eat yummy leftovers for a week!

14. A roof over my head and a bed to sleep in.

15. My feather pillow.

16. That I am not married right now. Not that marriage is a bad thing - but I'm not ready to be there, and if God hadn't saved me almost exactly a year ago, I would have been married right now.

17. Not worrying about money. Of course I'm broke - I'm student, I'd have to be loaded to still have money. But I have a job and I have credit - money is not something to be worried about.

18. Bubble baths and massages. After a stressful week of midterms, or after a hard day, nothing could be more relaxing.

19. The changing of the seasons. When it is spring I am grateful for the fresh rain and new flowers. When it is summer I am grateful for the heat and the beach. When it is fall I am grateful for the colours. When it is winter I am grateful for the snow and the arrival of my semester's relief and oxygen: SNOWBOARDING.

20. I am healthy, and I am alive. I have no allergies, I have no terminal illness, I am not overweight or anorexic, and I am not depressed. Physically and mentally I am healthy.

I am so blessed!!