Nervous, Excited and Anxious!

Nervous

- Finals this week and next week! I am almost done my last assignment, and only have two more days of classes. So close I can almost taste it!

- I'm teaching the "Matter and Chemical Change" Unit at Greystone Centennial Middle School, come November 15th

- I'm applying for an Schengen Visa (basically a Europe visa), and I NEED to get that application moving. Part of it is an interview, and interviews make me nervous...

- I'm applying for a bursary from the university to help with finances for Italy, and it also has an interview component...

- I leave for Italy in 2 months... and I will be gone three months! I have never spent that much time away from my family before.

Excited

- I can't wait to be done with finals, and spend more time in the classroom! So far, being in that Grade 9 class has been a real affirmation for me that I am heading in the right direction, career-wise.

- I leave for Italy in 2 months! I can hardly wait to immerse myself in the culture of Cortona!

- Flights are booked, I have travel insurance in place... almost ready!

- I found out that I do NOT have to quit my job while I am away. It just makes those preparations easier and more convenient... both for me and my boss.

- Looking forward to a few weeks off from school between semesters, spending time with a certain somebody and prepping for Italy!

- Josh, Colin and I went to the Ski and Snowboard Show this past weekend, I can NOT wait to shred some powder... come on winter!

Anxious

- There is so much to be done before I leave, just little things... but it is overwhelming!

- Finals always make me anxious, I just want them to be over with already!

- Teaching on my own... eep!

- I leave for Italy in 2 months! I am growing very fond of a certain somebody, and I'm not looking forward to being gone for three months... but the return home will be that much better!

- Finances will be tight, it makes me very anxious not knowing how everything will work out. I am trusting God to help things fall into place, it will all work out in the end.

Life as we know it

Realizing that yet again I've neglected to keep you updated on the happenings around my side of the world...

Reasoning for this? I'm surprisingly busy! I don't know how I do this, but my plate is FULL this semester! First off, I'm doing my first practicum - called my IPT. This involves a condensed semester at the University, with interrelated assignments and endless readings, followed by a 5 week term in a high school placement. Whew!

Secondly, I have signed up as a PartyLite consultant and it's a bit hectic getting that business onto it's feet! I do enjoy it though, it is so flexible! As Rachael likes to put it, I'm getting paid to show off amazing product, meet new people and eat good food!

Third, I'm still working as a lifeguard at the LRC. Lifeguarding and teaching lessons - routine and easy. I love the people I work with and I love my job. Most days. All jobs have their ups and downs, and I'm always grateful that I have the job I do.

Fourth! I'm preparing to go to Italy next semester! There are a lot of preparations involved for studying overseas, and part of that is ensuring that my finances are in order. I can't wait to explore Europe again and immerse myself in the culture! I really hope to begin to gain an understanding of the Italian language as well. Preparations include: student loans, flights, orientation sessions, student visa applications, travel insurance, etc...

Lastly (but certainly not least important), I've been getting to know someone. This relationship has indeed taken off and I'm enjoying every minute of it! However, I'm not going to dish details all over my blog...but I thought I would insert that tidbit of information as it pertains to my busy life.

It is always hard to get back into the routine of a new semester at school, but once that routine is figured out it's much less stressful. Now it's making sure I have time for everything I have to do, and then things that I want to do. Wouldn't life be easier if those were the same things?

-----------------------------------------------------------------

On a completely different note, I'm planning to have an appetizer party for my 21st birthday with (hopefully) lots of people. But I need some more ideas for appetizers! Already on my list: Thai Ribs, Spinach & Artichoke dip, Chocolate Fondue (dessert), Stuffed baked potatoes, chili con queso, maybe wings....

Any other ideas? What is your all-time favourite appetizer?

Update

You know how sometimes you really just don't know what to write about, and other times the words just flow like water? Can you guess where I'm at right now? I left you last time with a foul taste in your mouth as an idea for what my job can sometimes entail. I do feel the need to comment on how that is NOT my experience at work every day. Only once in a while - but it sure does leave an impact! Other days at work, such as ones where I spend a few hours in the water teaching swimming lessons, are great. Swimming lessons is: a half an hour with a bunch of kids that aren't yours, that will play with you, laugh with you, have a grand ol' time; and then you give them back. You sure get some cute little 5 year olds. Teaching is a rewarding experience, it really is. Over the years you get to see kids progress from learning to float, to learning the front crawl. With that said, teaching can be exhausting. You also deal with parents expecting you to work a miracle, and having a temper tantrum when you let them down. I guess this is a preview for when I finish university and go back to high school as a full time career. Can't wait!...?...!!

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

On a completely different note, I got my final acceptance to Cortona! I handed in the necessary forms, paid my deposit, and am now registered in my courses! Here's what I am taking:

Topics in Roman Civilization: The Roman City

The Roman city was the symbol of the Roman Empire, of the diverse cultures and lands that the Romans conquered. Wherever the Romans conquered, they established cities. Modern cities are the legacy of the Roman city. The Roman city was a stamp of solidarity, unifying cultures and where Roman rule, law and institutions were honoured. The course concentrates on understanding how the Roman city developed. The evolution of the Roman city includes not just the physical layout and the architecture of the city, but also the institutions that public buildings housed and the private residences. Rome, Ostia and Pompeii are the focus of the study.

Topics in Roman Art: The Power of Beauty

A study of the way in which Greek art influenced the Roman world, particularly at the highest social levels. We will concentrate on architecture, painting and sculpture, and three central themes that we will explore are: a) Greek Italy: Greek art produced in Southern Italy and Sicily and its influence on the Etruscans and indigenous populations; b) Greece conquers Rome: a study of Greek art in Rome, copies vs originals, and the use of 'classicism'; c) Nostalgia for Greece: ancient works in new contexts, ancient and modern.

Conversational Italian

An introduction to Italian designed for non-native speakers who do not require the intensive study of grammar to complete degree requirements. This course will give you the basic skills to communicate effectively in your daily interactions and travel across Italy.

I am so unbelievably excited. Now to arrange the proper paperwork, travel arrangements, etc. Eeeek! So excited!

School Achievement

People often comment on course load and subsequent grades. The normal course load is 5 classes per semester; the overachiever will do 6, maybe 7; and then someone who needs the extra time will do 3, maybe 4. There's also the philosophy that, by only doing 4 courses instead of 5, you can devote all that extra time to the 4 courses you have. I mean, why do average on 5 courses, if you can do excellent on 4 right? I will admit, you do have a lot more time to study when you only have 4 courses. But do you actually use that time for studying? Or do you spend the same amount of time on each subject as you would have before, and then use that extra time to do whatever you want?

I finally got all my grades back for this semester. This semester I did the full 5 courses, while in some past semesters I've done only 4. I was browsing my grades from previous semesters and here's what I noticed. In one semester while doing only 4, I received my first A. But! The other 3 were only B's and B-'s. In one semester while doing the full 5, I received two A-'s, but the rest were B's and B+'s. This semester, despite panicking from the stress load, and freaking out thinking I wasn't going to get high enough marks, I studied my butt off! And apparently my hard work paid off: 1 A-, 3B+, and 1B. Anyways, the trend I have noticed is that it is better to do the full 5, and actually use all that time for studying. I seem to do better when I have the full 5 courses. However, with the full 5, I may have my best semester, but I also have my worst. But hey, your very first semester at University never goes as good as you'd hoped...right?

Rants About Nothing

To be honest, I probably shouldn't be on the computer at all. But when you are studying, you inevitably come to a point where your brain says "enough!" I have two exams tomorrow, I'm not ready for them, and Thursday is "TV night"...and here I am, on the computer again. At least it isn't gorgeous weather today, like it has been all week. It's funny really, Southern Alberta got snow, and we got +30C. I even managed to burn my shoulders already. Speaking of gorgeous weather, we really could use some rain to help the grass and trees turn completely green. So far, only the grass has begun greening, but its too dry. Anyways, yesterday I went in to school early for my exam, just so I could sit outside in "Quad" to study. Quad is just a big open grassy space between buildings. On a nice day, there are more students out there than there is grass. Haha. I have three exams left, two tomorrow and one on Tuesday. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but the only thing trudging towards that light is that ticking clock in the background. Of course, I can't wait to be done, but I can't be done until I write these exams...which I should be studying for right now. My brain is so fried already, I don't know how I am ever going to make it. I think I can, I think I can, I think I can. Think about summer, think about camping, think about the beach...ouch, sunburn; think about green grass and frisbee...think about anything but your procrastination. There really isn't anything else interesting going on in my life right now. Studying is my normal, until next Tuesday. I sleep in, eat breakfast, study, eat lunch, study, eat supper, study, sing songs about going crazy, and go back to bed. Yep, that's what a normal study day looks like for me! "I am slowly going crazy, 1-2-3-4-5-6 Switch! Slowly going am I crazy, 6-5-4-3-2-1 Switch!" Coming to terms with the fact that I really shouldn't be on the computer, this is me signing off until next time. And this is you realizing, that you have, indeed, wasted a whole 5 minutes reading my rants about nothing. But you probably have a smile twitching at the corner of your mouth.

Cortona, Italy

I may have mentioned in a previous post somewhere, that I had a desire to do a semester of school abroad. When I backpacked Europe with Colette last May, I fell in love with Italy. I fell in love with every place that we went, but specifically Italy. The University of Alberta offers a study abroad program in Cortona, Italy, and since I had a few arts options to complete for my degree, I applied to go. Well I got accepted! The above picture is of a little hillside town approximately halfway between Rome and Florence called Cortona. This is where I will be spending winter in 2011. So prepare yourselves, because Cobblestone Chronicles will be revived as I embark on this exciting journey!

Marine Animals

I've decided that when I secure a teaching position as a high school biology teacher, I am going to have a "touch tank". And a saltwater aquarium at my house. Allow me to explain! I am taking a zoology course on invertebrates this semester, and I've discovered a passion for echinoderms! Echinoderms = starfish, brittle stars and sea urchins (among other creatures). They are just so cool! We have a touch tank in our lab, and I'm pretty sure I spend a solid 20 minute holding and playing with a sea urchin. When you hold it in the palm of your hand it starts waving its little spines all over the place, and slowly tries to escape. Brittle stars, when antagonized, can lose an arm and regenerate it in a matter of weeks-months. Starfish, as slow as they are, as voracious predators. They have slowly consumed almost all the mussels, barnacles and crabs in our tank. Here are some pictures of some creatures I DEFINITELY need to own (either in the touch tank, my own aquarium, or both).

Sea Urchins

Brittle Star

Starfish - see the difference from the brittle star above?

I'm so excited! I just love this class, even the dissections are cool! The creatures are all so unique and fun! Anyways, thats all for now. Ciao!

Mid-Semester Blahs

I'm in the season between reading week and the beginning of summer holidays. It's the hardest part of the entire school year. The majority of campus gets the blues and every day feels, well blah. I'm trying to keep motivated and trudge through with the homework and studying but it's hard.

As a byproduct of the mid-semesters blahs, I'm feeling a little emotional. Not sure what I'm feeling emotional about though. Maybe it's also a byproduct of the lack of socialization that comes along with forcing yourself to be somewhat diligent. I'm lonely. I'm stuck at home on a friday night, studying here and there, and wandering around this empty house the rest of the time. I would so much rather be elsewhere. (It doesn't help that Marmot Basin just got 20cm of snow.)

Below is my new favourite song. Download it! It is beautiful, and I could listen to it over and over again. I wouldn't say that it describes me - although I definitely know the pain expressed in this song. I think the line that I relate to is "I'm all alone and I need you now." I don't have anyone in specific that I need, but I'm all alone and lonely.

Need You Now - Lady Antebellum

Picture perfect memories, scattered all around the floor

Reaching for the phone, 'cause I can't fight it anymore

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

It's a quarter after one

I'm all alone and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control

And I need you now

I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

Another shot of whiskey, can't stop looking at the door

Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before

And I wonder if I ever cross your mind

For me it happens all the time

It a quarter after one

I'm a little drunk and I need you now

Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control

And I need you now

I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all

It's a quarter after one

I'm all alone and I need you now

And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk

And I need you now

And I don't know how I can do without

I just need you now

Update

I realized that I hadn't posted in a while, and figured perhaps it was time for an update! There isn't a whole lot new going on in my life. But perhaps what isn't new to me, may still be of interest to you! I started the winter semester of school last week, and so far my conclusions are as follows: school is going to kick my butt - badly! I picked some hard ones this semester, so I guess that means a lot of time spent in the books! Here is what I'm taking this semester:

1. Zoology 250 - Survey of Invertebrates (basically a class on worms, crustaceans, etc.)
2. Biochemistry 200
3. Microbiology 265
4. Biology 361 - Marine Science
5. Education Policy Studies 360 - Society and Education

Oh goody!! For those classes that I didn't put a title on, I think you can derive it's contents on your own. Besides school, I'm cramming in as much work as I can. I'm broke as broke can be....so I have to take any opportunities to work as I can.

And that leaves the social life. Whenever I'm not at school, work, or studying, I'm usually with Michael and/or Colette. Together, we make up a triangle. The Three Stooges! And no, I am not dating Michael (and neither is Colette for that matter). I feel the need to clarify this because we get asked that a lot. We're just good friends, and we feel very comfortable around each other. Colette and I spend time scrapbooking our Europe adventure, the three of us spend time snowboarding, having movie marathons, going to movies, playing pool, etc. Despite the hurt and the healing I'm dealing with in the background, I am happy with my life right now.

Contradictions

I think its a female thing. I was going to write a post on how stressed out I was; about little things and big things, silly things and important things. But then I realized that I'm not stressed out - I have a few stressful events that are occupying my thoughts, and I'm a little overtired. So I'm stressed but I'm not - and that itself sends me into a spiral of contradictory emotions. Eventually you're not even sure what you feel? Am I alone in this, am I being over dramatic, or is this really a female thing?

That's not really the point of today's post. What I was going to say - or rather complain about - has a little bit to do with school, and a little bit to do with things in my life I can't seem to get over.

School; I'm trying to finish registering for my courses second semester, but most of the courses I am interested in taking are either only offered first semester, or are scheduled for the same time that I have a different class scheduled for. Why didn't I plan this better? I might end up taking courses I wasn't sure I was interested in, or just only taking four courses total. The latter is less stressful in homework, but means I have to make up that course later on. I have a while before I need to be registered, but I'd like to have it figured out so I don't have to worry about it.

Other; Jordan. He hasn't said anything to me, I haven't had to see him, I should be okay right? Why can't I just move on? It has been a year since the breakup! I feel like I'm pathetic for still struggling with this. I wrote him a letter, saying my peace because I can't seem to get it out verbally. I don't know if I should give it to him or not, because it isn't going to make a difference anyways. I don't want him back - although I'm not sure who I'm trying to convince sometimes. I know more and more every day that he wasn't even my type. I don't even want a boyfriend; well not past the lovely cuddling-having-somebody-who-cares part.

He deleted me as a friend on facebook. His father (our senior church pastor) did too.. Personally, I think this is low. I mean, it shouldn't matter because I'm no longer friends with either of them. But for someone who doesn't even use facebook to sign on a year later to delete his ex-fiance?

--------------------------------------

That is why I am stressed out. Here is why I am not:

I'm on top of my homework. In fact, I didn't do anything school-productive besides playing with second semester course registration tonight. I finished my assignment that is due Tuesday, last Tuesday. I'm on top of my notes, and I have midterms coming up that I can study for in a few days.

I have four adorable playful kittens that like to use me as a human jungle gym. They are totally tamed, and I love them.

Thanksgiving dinner is Monday - FOOD. Yay!!

--------------------------------------

So here I am, back to square one. I am feeling contradictory.

Anticipation

In reflection of my last post, I find myself in a state of anticipation. Not necessarily a state of looking forward to anything, as in being excited about everything that is to come. Some things yes, I'm excited for. But some things not so much. In the next few days, weeks, and months, here are some of the things I am anticipating:

• The end of summer swim lessons. I enjoy teaching, this is why I am taking Education at the University. However, I am tired of being wet and chlorinated every day. I look forward to being dry for more than 3 days in a row.
• Leduc Recreation Centre Pool's annual shutdown. I still have to go to work, partially because I am a supervisor at the pool, and I am (surprisingly) of use to them at this time. This one is more of an anticipation because it involves alot of cleaning. Not just every day wipe the windows type of cleaning. Actual dirt-on-your-knees cleaning. However, I do look forward to possibly learning something new about how the pool works though.
• Camping! Last camping trip of the summer before I head back to school and we're headed to Saskatchewan. Yes!! Saskatchewan has better lakes than Alberta - by far. We are joining another family from our church for a few days in Meadow Lake.
• The start of the 09/10 school year. Definitely just an anticipation. This means studying, lack of a social life, and more moths in my wallet.
• Taking my IPT (first education practicum) second semester. Not sure yet if this is just an anticipation or something more exciting. I'm nervous, yet excited to do something more related to my career.
• SNOWBOARDING! Please do not be upset with me, and understand that I LOVE summer. But I can not wait to shred some powder and get back on the mountains. I'm planning a trip to Panorama in BC for reading week with some friends.

That is all that is on my mind at the moment. I know there is probably more, since I tend to stress and worry about needless things. Big breath...one step at a time. Here we go.

Getting Ready

School is less than a month away. What has happened to my summer?? I hate thinking that it's almost time to get back to the books, and there is no way that I'm ready yet! I've been working my tail off trying to pay for school and travelling, and all of a sudden my summer is gone! Four months of summer and its gone. I spent May in Europe, June catching up and working, July teaching lessons, and August will be spent teaching lessons and getting ready.

I've finally been accepted into the Faculty of Education at the University. My official program is the Bachelor of Science/Bachelor of Education Combined Degree. Now that's a mouthful. I have a program sheet with the courses I've taken, and the courses I need to take to finish my degree. So the last few days have been spent dropping courses, registering for courses, rearranging courses, etc. Trying to make my schedule as neat and convenient as possible, all the while staying within my program requirements. By August, this becomes quite difficult. Most classes are filled, and in order to get the courses you need, you end up staying on campus for long hours.

So far I'm taking my first practicum my second semester, and I have really long Tuesdays and Thursdays, but my Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays allow me to sleep in. Yes! First semester is still in the works. I am registered for 3 of my 5 courses, and I'm waiting on room for the other two. Either way, my days look pretty good so far. Phew, one thing basically done. I've also purchased my parking pass...$838 later. After carpooling and driving to school every day for a year I can not force myself to go back to taking the bus. I just can't do it, no matter how much money I would save. Now all that is left is purchasing textbooks/supplies and all the mental preparation. I don't think I could accomplish the latter even if I had a lifetime.